I had been looking forward to this time for days. The week had been busy, like it is so often. But, I had tried to fit in some time to prepare myself. I wished to present my best.
You see, I was going to have a special time with the love of my life. This was big. The rest of the week paled in comparison. This was going to be good.
No. This was not our first time together. Although, I guess I did anticipate something fresh, something new. But, my main excitement was over past experience. Our times together had been wonderful, yes, wonderful. It brings tears to my eyes just looking back. Wow. I fully expected something special. And I knew my hope would not be disappointed.
And so I made my way to our meeting place...
As I arrived, it was kind of weird. Perhaps you can relate. I could "tell" My Love was already there waiting for me. I just knew.
Don't get me wrong. I wasn't late. And it wasn't impatience. My Beloved had been looking forward to this time too. And knowing that was such a comfort.
As our eyes met, it was powerful. The joy, the longing satisfied, the anticipation, it was all there - and obvious. We were together at last.
I won't bore you with all of the details. But, I need to share a little bit.
There were other people around. But, it took just a short while before they all faded away, like wallpaper, and it was as if My Love and I were all alone - just the two of us.
Perhaps the best thing was just time together. Sure, we had communicated during the week. But, that wasn't quite the same. This was special - a time set aside to be together, My Love and I.
We shared a lot of things. We learned more about what was important for each of us, what we valued. It was encouraging to learn about how much we have in common. There were a few areas where we differed. And I knew I would have to consider those as I dreamt of a future together. I knew where my values differed, that could have an impact on how much "oneness" we would experience, now and in the years to come.
We shared stories. We laughed. We shed a few tears remembering all we had come through.
We shared words of affection. My Beloved has such a way with words. The smiles melted my heart. My Love genuinely cared. I felt valued. I felt appreciated. And the encouragement felt so good. I needed this. And it was a joy, a privilege, to express my love in return. And the music seemed to turn our words into love songs, expressing our love for one another.
If you were observing, you might think we were having just another casual conversation, forgotten within hours, perhaps minutes. But, no. That is far from the truth. We were bonding. This was intimacy. This is what I, and so many others, long for. This was love. It felt so good, so warm. I felt at home resting in their arms.
It was all great. But, I have to be honest. As the time went on, I found my mind wandering occasionally to other things - the week past, the week ahead, concerns, the people around me, and other topics.
"What are you doing?"
The question startled me.
"What is going on? You have been saying I am the love of your life. And yet, I can tell your mind is wandering. You said you looked forward to this time. You say you love me so much, that I am the most important thing in your life. So, here I am. I am right here. But your focus is somewhere else.
I want your thoughts with me. Come on. Please come back. I was enjoying this so much. "
My first tendency was to get defensive. But, I could see that wasn't going to work. I was busted. I felt ashamed - and a bit silly. It was obvious that, despite all the talk, my devotion, and my discipline, still had room to grow.
You might think my Beloved is pretty demanding. And, in some ways, that is true. But, I knew the motives were pure. My Love only wants what is best for the relationship - and what is best for me. Devotion and loyalty please My Love. I so appreciate their devotion, their faithfulness, to me as well.
And so, we continued... I tried to stay a little more focused. As we started communicating again, I had to laugh once in awhile at how foolish I had been for letting my mind wander. I already had what I wanted. I already had the best - right here, with me.
And that little word of correction, it did not spoil the rest of the time, as you might expect. It actually made it better. I saw how much My Love cared about our relationship, and about me. And the ready forgiveness just showed, once again, how loving they are.
As our special time together came to a close, it was bittersweet. I was sad to see it end. I was already feeling a longing for more time, another occasion like this, a chance to be intimate once again. I was already missing my Beloved.
But, at the same time, I was grateful for the opportunity. It had been good, so very good. I had joy. My heart was at peace. I was content. I was full.
So how was church for you last week?
How will you prepare for worship this week?
Copyright © 2003 Ronald G. Hedberg. All rights reserved.
This article was first published on RTimeHas.Com.